Misconduct
by Naomi Shadows
Summary: Axel discovers the wrong way to break up with someone... Short. Language. Yaoi. Riku x Axel


**Misconduct**

The sound of a familiar ring tone wakes me up, but when I open my eyes I don't have to look around to know I'm not in my own room. My head hurt a little, the hangover reminding me once again that I should drink less. Or drink more water. At least it's a dull pain and the room is dark enough that the light doesn't hurt my eyes. My body is sore in certain places, reminding me I had sex last night for way too long. Damn.

The phone is still ringing and I close my eyes to momentarily avoid seeing who is getting out of bed beside me. He clears his throat and the ringing finally stops. "Hello?" He stands in silence for a minute and he's got to be looking at me. I'm trying not to pinch my eyes shut too tightly so it's not obviously. I'm not a three year old… "You forgot what? Your wallet?" He clears his throat again and the door opens. "Let me check."

Shit… I hear the door close so I sit up this time. Fuck, I am such an idiot. Please don't tell me I slept with Riku last night. I look at the bed and I know it's his room because I've been in here a hundred times. I hate myself right now. Idiot! God, I'm such an idiot.

I'm still naked and I look down at the traitor between my legs. It's always my body betraying me. This always happens when I drink too much. Usually I can make it home without sexing anyone up. I might kiss random friends but I don't usually just into bed with them. Even worse is random flashes of memory are still somewhere in there and I can see images of Riku with me. Damn it!

Roxas is gonna kill me…

Why couldn't it have been Roxas that helped me stumble home? Why did it have to be Riku? He knows I can't control myself.

I guess he'll only say no for so long… but he could have said no this time! Fuck! I just continue shouting internally and slapping my forehead.

Eventually he comes back, already off the phone. I'm surprised he's wearing shorts; after all, he lives alone. Then again who knows if there's some other drunk person asleep on his floor out there. We were all drinking together last night. I really hope not though.

He smirks at me. "I thought you were awake."

"Your phone woke me up." Pointing out the obvious is probably safe for now.

"Yea, it was Sora. He left his wallet here last night. It was on the table in plain sight too." He laughs a little, throwing his phone on the bed and turning on the light.

"Is he still here?"

"No."

"Is anyone here?" I follow him with my eyes. I've already crossed the boundary here. I can check him out with no sense of guilt. Now, if only the guilt would agree with me.

He just looks at me. "Just you." How he always gets to the point with so few words I'll never understand. He hardly talks and his face is always crunched up in this stern scowl. What the hell is attractive about him?

I cover my face since I'm still such an idiot. Even his stupid mean expression is hot. He doesn't even have a boyfriend. I wish I could have said the same last night. "Well, can you please just… not tell anyone?"

If he could, he would probably kill me right now. I'm such an ass sometimes, but I don't know what to do. He just moves away, grabbing a shirt off the floor and throwing it at me when he sees it isn't the one he wants. "Everyone already knows I helped you home last night."

"That doesn't mean they know I have no control and jumped you. That wouldn't be their first thought, right?" I look at him wishing he'd say _yes, of course everything is fine. No one would ever think that._ He laughs under his breath and pulls his own shirt on, not saying anything at all. I make the sound of crying. "Well, I can just tell them you helped me home."

With his back to me he sits at his desk. "Good luck keeping it from anyone." He doesn't even care. Of course he doesn't care! This didn't turn out badly for him!

I hit my fist lightly on my head trying to think. I have zero patience for secrets and I'll feel so guilty I won't be able to keep it secret from Roxas. How the hell am I suppose to tell him I screwed up and cheated on him.

I am so dead…

He's gonna kill me.

While Riku's on the computer I get dressed, hunting down all of my clothing. It takes a while since I find half of it down the hall and in the living room. Wow… I guess I was determined and he really couldn't say no this time. My cell is on the table at least so when I'm dressed and have my shoes on I sit down on the couch.

I find Roxas in my phone and call him without hesitating. The phone call won't be the hard part.

I'm sad to say he picks up on the third ring. _"Hey baby."_

"Hey." Guilt…guilt, guilt, guilt. Why did he have to call me that? Why today of all days did he have to say baby and not just hey or hey axel. Damn. "Can we meet for lunch? Are you busy?"

It sounds like he's outside or something. _"Well, I'm running some errands right now. But I should be done in a few hours. Is that okay?"_

No, it's not okay. Be busy forever if that's possible. "I don't want to rush you. We could wait."

"_No, it's alright. I'm not busy today."_ Of course you aren't.

We set up a time and place to meet and hang up. Nervous guilt begins racking my body again. Why is this so hard…?

"You want something to eat?" Riku is behind me, leaning against the wall. He probably heard the whole thing.

We're not meeting for a while so I can't see why not. "Sure." He makes some eggs and we have a silent breakfast. I'm finished eating before I decide to talk. "Why am I always such an idiot?"

He's up and getting himself a cup of coffee. "It's not my fault you have no standards." Taking a drink he leans against the counter to look at me.

For a second I think of how normal this feels. Eating breakfast with someone the next morning… what a nice feeling. I almost wish I had this all the time. "Why couldn't you just be my boyfriend?"

"Sorry, not interested." He snorts. "You already have a previous attachment."

I can play snide if that's what he wants. "I didn't hear you saying that last night."

He sets down his coffee like we're about to rumble. "You must not like him much. He never crossed your mind last night while you were taking off your clothes."

Low blow… I suffer in pain for a moment.

Done torturing me, he joins me at the table again. "Just put him out of his misery. He'll never let this one go."

I have a feeling he's right. Roxas lets me get away with a lot of shit but I don't think he'll be forgiving when it comes to this situation. Not this time. I'm starting to feel less and less remorseful really. "Gah. Why am I so horrible? I don't even feel that bad about it." I look at my friend. "I have no feelings."

He shakes his head at me. "You're just realizing this?"

What a jerk, he could have at least denied it or something. "Maybe I'm not cut out to be in a relationship."

Getting up again he starts to walk away. "Stop with the pity party and tell him what happened. Decide if you're an ass after that." He goes back to his room knowing I'll let myself out.

The sad part about all this is I know Riku understands how I feel. I'm more than grateful he's keeping cool and isn't yelling at me, like most people would. Then again, he's part of the guilty party.

I meet Roxas at the restaurant like normal and he's so excited to see me. The guilt immediately returns. Damn, I forgot how cute he is. Why couldn't I remember that last night? I guess I do have feelings because the guilt helps me act awkward and nervous the whole time.

We eat more than half of our meals and I still haven't said anything. He's been preoccupied with telling me about work and his day. We have that in common, we can't seem to shut up. Unfortunately I know he's done eating. He can never finish his meal and he'll save half for later…

So he notices. "You've been quiet. Are you okay?"

I can't take it. "I'm sorry, Roxas…" This has been nothing but uncomfortable sitting here trying to talk, struggling with what to say just to remain quiet. At some point this meal crossed the line and it's impossible to pretend it isn't stupid anymore. "We should break up."

"What?" He's staring at me, taken by surprise.

"I said we should break up." Guilt… guilt, guilt.

"I heard you the first time." He barks. Maybe he's pissed because I waited this long to tell him. Or maybe he's just pissed because I said lets break up. That would be normal. "Where is this coming from all of a sudden? Last night everything was just fine." Then he blinks a little, realizing I went home with someone beside him. "You messed up or something?"

Looking at him I can't even sigh in irritation. "You could say that."

"What, you made out with Riku? It's not like you had sex, right?" He's looking at me when my eyebrows knit together in a frown. I can't deny it and he's on his feet in a huff. "What's wrong with you!? How could you!?"

I hold my hands out, not knowing what to say. "It wasn't like I planned to do it."

He's so pissed he glares at me and grabs his drink, throwing what's left of it in my face. Without another word, he storms out.

Most of the people around us are staring now, curious about the fight we had. I'm sure everyone can assume what happened and I wipe off my face as the waitress runs up asking if I'm okay. I just ask her for the check and apologize for the mess. She scampers away in that weird manner when no one knows what to say. I don't blame her.

I've never had someone throw a drink in my face before. That was different.

The only place I think to go is back to Riku's house. The door is locked so I have to knock and when he opens it he bursts into laughter. Not exactly the response I was looking for but my shirt is random colors after that drink so I let him go this time. The laughter makes me feel a little less pathetic too.

He lets me borrow one of his shirts and tosses mine in the laundry. We sit out on his back porch watching the clouds go by as he smokes a cigarette. I didn't even know he smoked.

Eventually he says something. "Are you sad?"

Sad? I think about it. "I dunno… I guess." Maybe I feel a little empty because I don't _feel _much at all. "Can I have one of those?" I point at his mouth.

"You smoke?" He hands me one even though he's asking.

"Not really." I try one anyways. In the end I struggle through it and decide it's not for me.

His phone rings after a while and he talks to Sora still sitting beside me, not bothering to leave even when they're setting plans to hang out. He tells the other guy about my presence and puts him on speaker phone. The little brunette is in a rage about his girlfriend Kairi doing random things girls do. By the time they hang up I feel a little better.

Maybe it's not so bad being single. I should take some time to enjoy it.

Sliding his chair closer to mine, holding his cigarette in his mouth, Riku puts his arm around me letting me lay my head on his shoulder. I'll try not to think about why and just enjoy the moment. The world is definitely not ending here...


End file.
